I am playing Barbara in this terrifying and intense production but I have also been Cheryl in Evil Dead, Aria in Diamond Dead (awesome zombie rock musical),
Elmira in Nevermore (Musical about Edgar Allen Poe), Magenta in Rocky Horror,
Spider Woman in Kiss of the Spider Woman, and Little Dead Riding Hood in a workshop. My friend Stephen (co-writer of Night of the Living Dead the musical) and I have joked that I am the scream queen of DC musical theatre. He might even try writing Rosemary's Baby the musical for me one day....but first he needs to finish Billy the Kid vs Dracula the musical for me to star in as well. (Stephen, if you read this-that's a hint-get to work)
I love playing these roles and doing these types of shows. I also have a love for horror films and fascination with ghosts. I am actually sitting here typing and watching a movie called Kingdom of the Spiders right now.
So with all this being said/typed you would probably be shocked to hear that I am totally and honestly scared of the dark.
It all started in 3rd grade which is funny because I can remember being really young and getting out of bed one night, creeping into the living room, and spying on my parents watching Nightmare on Elm Street and it didn't even phase me. See it was not slasher films or monsters that got my heart racing and legs shaking, it was and is the paranormal and hence things that go boo in the night. So in 3rd grade I was friends with this strange little girl named Eleanor. One day while sitting in the lunch room she started telling me and a couple other friends about how she saw a ghost once while she was laying in her crib as a baby. Now, I should've known right there that the odds of her actually remembering something from when she was young enough to be in a crib and then having the ability to be able to tell a real person from a ghost at that age as well was just total BS but I was 8 and gullible For the next few days at lunch Eleanor continued on with these ghost stories. Some about ghosts she thought she saw and other stories were classic ones like "Where's my Golden Arm" and one about a lady in black and a necklace hidden under a stair case. These stories were my very first exposure to ghost stories and they terrified me! For the next several years I was too scared to sleep alone at night and to this day I am scared to sleep in total darkness.
My poor parents had to deal with my wining and crying at night from age 8 until about 13 years old. I made my little sister sleep in the bed with me at night or I would crawl into my parents bed crying. I remember my Mom sitting on the edge of my bed so many nights trying to calm my fears and assuring me that there was nothing to be afraid of. Over those years my fear and fascination with ghosts and the paranormal just increased. I remember at one point in 5th grade my Mom had me go see the school counselor and began regular counseling sessions to try and tackle my fears. Nothing really worked. I did eventually get a little older and a little tougher and started sleeping alone and even moved to the bedroom downstairs but I still slept with a nightlight on and would stay awake at night looking around my room until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.
My love of horror films began around this time too. I think in a way I was trying to conquer my fears but also because being afraid is thrilling. Crippling fear is no fun but jumping from a scary movie (as long as its not too late at night) is exciting. I was always watching these movies and trying to test how much I could take. I wanted to try and understand why I was so afraid, maybe desensitize myself, or maybe get proof and validation for my fears. Some movies stuck with me and scared me for weeks like Blair Witch, The Candyman, Poltergeist, the Exorcism of Emily Rose, and Paranormal Activity...yet I continued to search out and watch these movies.
I began watching shows like ghost hunters, haunted travels, a haunting, celebrity ghost stories, ghost adventures, and more, almost obsessively. Anytime something like that was on TV I had to watch it, knowing I could be paying for it later.
Now I am 32 years old and after all the years of trying to understand this fear I have of the paranormal I think I have finally accepted that there are things in the world that happen and can't be explained but what's the worst that could happen if I do run into a ghost? I have even prayed to see my Mother again so (and i am not trying to be funny here) I am asking and begging to see a ghost. I would welcome it with open arms and ask her to stay forever. So I guess I have over come this fear?
Its almost Halloween now and I am getting excited to watch Ghost Hunters Live and have several spooky movies lined up to get me in the spirit of the holiday and even though I am basically in control of my fears, I will still be sleeping with a night light on.
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